Cuffing season aside, this is a serious question with serious consequences! You (probably) don’t want to make a big decision in your relationship too quickly, and you don’t want to overthink a good thing until it’s lost! If you’ve been asking yourself how you can tell whether you’re actually ready to get engaged, we sat down to write this guide for you.
When couples are ready to get engaged, there is usually peace under the excitement. You feel at ease being yourselves. You’re at ease with how you deal with the messy pieces of life.
If that sounds familiar, you’re already on the right track! But we think it’s also good to reflect on a couple of age-old signs you’re ready to move forward, like whether your life goals and timelines make sense together and whether your core values are compatible. It’s not up to the season to determine when you should get engaged, although we all love a good fall wedding!
Telltale Signs You’re Feeling Ready To Get Engaged
There’s no perfect checklist that can determine without a doubt that you’re ready to get engaged, but there are telltale signs you’re going to the next step together.
Unfortunately (for some of us), it’s less about the dramatic flair and more about the habits you live every week. Do you resolve fight without keeping score? Can you organize a weekend, a vacation, or even a year without constant anxiety? Does your belly gauge remain steady more days than not? If the answer is affirmative to most of that, then you are likely closer than you think.
1. You’re On The Same Page About Your Life Goals
Being on the same page is not mind-reading. It is clear, honest communication regarding your vision for your life and the future you both envision. Careers, where you want to live, how you spend money and time, whether you see children or pets, and how you want to spend holidays with friends and family. It is more about being aligned than being perfect. Two whole people choosing the same path feels dull on the outside and very significant on the inside.
Timelines enable it. If someone of you would like to finish grad school before a wedding, one of you will have to speak up and plan around it!
2. Have You Ever Talked About Engagement Rings?
If you’ve started talking about internet engagement rings, styles, and what makes you feel good on your hand, you’re already turning the idea into a plan. Play around and try it on. Shapes and settings behave differently when you glance at them in natural light compared to a monitor. Comfort is important. If you spend a lot of time on your hands at work, would a lower profile setting be more suitable for everyday life?
We think it really helps to get a grasp of the basics together, so your final choice makes sense in your life. Form is the outline of the stone, setting is how it’s held in place, and metal shifts both the look and the way it wears over time. If you are active, a bezel can protect the edges. If you love brilliance in a diamond engagement ring, a halo design can make a center stone “shine larger” without a big budget jump.
Budget talk needs to be straightforward, not anxiety-provoking. Select a range initially, then compare naturally occurring and created diamonds if size flexibility is important. Ask about warranty, resizing, maintenance, and insurance so you know what having it means. Custom designs require weeks from sketch to finished ring, and made-to-order settings need lead time to order and set the stone, so consider that in proposal timing.
For quick inspiration, our Bridal Rings’ summer trends guide of color and cut suggestions is a fast means to jump-start the conversation regarding likes and dislikes!
For wedding ring ideas, many of our clients love to start with pieces that recreate looks they observed on Love Is Blind.
Our oval-cut halo engagement rings look radiant on the finger and look stunning beside lean pavé wedding bands like our 18K White Gold Diamond Wedding Band.
Two-tone solitaires, like this one by Barkevs, are a chic contrast that looks great in photos. Sleek bezel-set princess cuts like the Michael M Princesse R424-2 appear visually stunning! Bridal Rings offers all these styles online, and pairing them with a matching wedding band enables you to see the whole picture before the big day of your proposal.
3. When You Share Similar Values
You might have different pursuits in life, and that’s okay! What we see really pulling couples in the same direction are your values. When couples share the same values about honesty, loyalty, generosity, and the treatment of people, it’s a great sign of a healthy marriage. Perhaps core to your marriage is faith. Perhaps family time is the priority. Perhaps work ethics are non-negotiable. The specifics are yours to create together!
This is the one that matters. Under stress. Do your choices reflect those values? Do you apologize and make things right when you mess up? Do you tell the truth to power even if it costs you an easy moment? If so, most of the time, that consistency is such a good sign that you are ready to get married and keep choosing each other.
Discuss respect, boundaries, and intimacy in real terms. It’s as valuable to feel safe saying no as it is to feel open to saying yes. Establish how you navigate friendships, social media, and boundaries around privacy. Figure out what quality time means for both of you. A brief weekly check-in keeps confusion at a low and makes both individuals feel heard.
4. Are You Making Major Life Decisions Together?
Important life decisions are where a relationship shows its structure. It could be renting a place together, pursuing your financial goals together, or even locking in a family commitment. The decisions don’t have to be dramatic to be significant. What’s important is the way you feel about your shared life decisions.
Pay attention to how you two decide things together. Do you share information openly and come up with a plan that both of you can stand behind? When a relationship can handle the weighty decisions of life without battles for control, you are applying the skills a healthy marriage requires on a regular basis. If that is your rhythm, then you may be ready to become engaged because you already act like lifelong partners!
Try a shot at memory. Think back to the most recent curveball. A car repair that cost an arm and a leg. A tough week with your parent. An illness that forced you to cancel plans. Did you head to blame, or did you bounce back and adjust? Partners who value mutual respect are better equipped to traverse long-term relationship milestones (and tough spots) from mortgages and kids, to the mundane Tuesday morning routines that complete a life together.
When You Feel Comfortable, You’ll Know!
Choosing to get engaged (this fall or otherwise) is not about hitting the right season for your wedding day. It’s about being in the emotional place where you feel comfortable in yourself, around each other, and you know the best you have is the life you want more of. Do your conversations keep rewinding the future with a sense of comfort? Does a proposal feel exciting even though you’re a bit scared? When you look across the table, do you see someone you can trust? If so, then you’re probably ready to get engaged!
When you’re both ready to get engaged, the next steps are easy (even if you’re trying to propose this fall!) You can plan a timeline that works for your relationship. It’s totally normal to be a bit scared.
If shopping for rings will let you focus on the moment, try out our diamond concierge from the comfort of your own home! You can visualize settings side by side and find a ring that fits your style and your life. If you want one more step before the big step, set up a brief appointment with our team! It is totally okay to sanity-check how you are being communicative and making big choices. When it’s the next great adventure, we’re here to support you through it.